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Ask Dr. SchwartzAsk Dr. Schwartz:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Can Attraction Come Back?

Mon, Aug 15th 2011

Once physical, sexual attraction is gone, can it ever come back?? I'm asking because I ended a 5 year relationship due to this problem. I wasn't getting the intimacy I needed and was too young and emotionally immature to be able to ask for it.

We have been split for 3 years now. I broke his heart and I feel horrible but, I needed that break. I was happy once we split. We were each others firsts and onlys and I needed to experience dating.

We text message now and then. Well I text him. He confessed to me the other day that he's not over me and probably won't ever be because he was so in love. It really got to me. I started remembering and missing him. He's everything I need yet I seem to be drawn to "bad boys."

I would love if him and I could work it out and get back together but I'm not sure that is possible. I love that I know I can trust him 100% and that our relationship was a well balanced one. He can give me security and I know he would love me for the rest of my life if I would let him.

I just don't know if I can get that sexual spark back. I am 24 and he is now 28. Do you think we can fix this problem? Or should I continue on my journey to finding someone with the passion I desire?

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