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Can A Marriage Withstand Group Sex?

Mon, Nov 15th 1999

I'd like to ask you an advice concerning my sexual feelings. I'm male in my late twenties, married. Sex is an important part of my life, of my psychological self-comfort. I'm always tending to look for new experience in sex - involving fantasies and strange ideas. We are having, together with my wife, lots of fantasies that excite both of us. We have tried everything in sex as long as it involves both of us only. The problem is that it doesn't seem enough for me. I am always attracted by the idea of group sex, of introducing another person or people to our sexual life. I feel that it would be extremely exciting to have somebody else performing sex next to us or with us. In my previous relationships, it happened once that I was with more than one woman in one sexual act. Till today, I cannot forget about it, I feel it was so good. Now, when I'm married, I'm not alone in this choice. I've talked to my wife about it. The idea-itself excites her but she is not ready to go for it. I feel that introducing another person will make our sexual life more reach, that we will both be able to enjoy another side of sex. Sometimes I feel that I'd like to watch my wife having sex with another man. I'd like her to perform it to me just like I'd like to perform to her me being with another woman. It's not that I'm seeking for another woman, I wouldn't go for another woman behind the back of my wife. - it's just that I feel it would be so exciting and fulfilling both of us if we show to each other another face of sex: group sex. It would excite me to watch my wife with another man because I know it would be our game to make us happier and more satisfied - because we BOTH would be there. I wouldn't feel any physical attachment to a person or group of people with us, I would just like ME and MY WIFE to experience something different - and I don't care to know who "the other people" would be. I feel that our (my wife's and mine) sexual life would become much richer. It think it would also excite me to have another couple having sex next to us, even without interfering into our sexual activity. I wouldn't mind either having somebody watching us. All is a matter of this great performance that can introduce new emotions to our relationship. I talked with my wife a lot about it and till now she is not sure, she can do it but she agrees that the idea is so exciting. She is afraid of "what will we feel after? How would we go on?" I think it's worth trying and if we don't like it, we can forget about it and never do it again. I'm really lost in this subject. Should we go for it or should we erase this subject from our minds? Would group sex destroy our marriage? Or would it make it fuller and sexually more satisfactory? Please give me your opinion about it.

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